Nancy Lanza is as much a victim of her son’s violet rampage on December 14th, 2012 in quiet, idyllic Newtown CT., yet she is not numbered among the victims, and her family had to claim her body and quietly bury her among intense security in rural New Hampshire.

Today, as each “layer of the onion” in this horrific saga gets peeled back, a backlash of anger and hate is being leveled at the single mother who was dealing with the mental issues of an adult child.

How easy it must be for pundits and analysts, journalists and others, to rile up the public sentiment against Mrs. Lanza for how she was handling her son’s issues? How very easy to criticize her for taking him to a gun range with her? Has anyone thought that she might have needed to protect herself FROM her son?

And what about Peter Lanza? Where is the anger being directed at him? He is here and can answer the public criticism. Where was he in the years since he and his wife separated? If I understand some reports, they separated in 2001 or so, but didn’t divorce until 2009. He paid big alimony and provided health insurance, so his hands in the management of his son’s mental health issues are no longer his concern? It is being reported that Mrs. Lanza might have been suffering with Multiple Sclerosis. That burden along with her son’s problems, all by herself, and we seek to criticize her.

Just after the shooting, a blogger posted a blog “I am Adam Lanza’s Mother” was posted. The mother reflects on the traumas a family faces when dealing with a child with mental health issues, such as autism. The bottomline is who are ANY OF US to sit in judgment of Nancy Lanza regarding her son and this horrific and senseless act of violence unless we too have worn the shoes that she has and travelled that road in the solitude of her angst.

So when we pray for the taechers who heroically tried to save the lives of those children, and we pray for the 20 little angels, it does not diminish their sacrifices to pray for the woman who also suffered at the hands of a madman, perhaps longer and in more ways than any of us can imagine.